What Does it Really Mean to Lust?

This is my first contribution to MarriageHeat. I hope it can be a blessing to those who read it.

All Bible references use the King James Version (KJV).

 

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Are Sexual Thoughts Sinful Lust?

 

Opening Questions to Provoke Thought

 

Matthew 5:27-28: “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”

Is Jesus saying that if looking at someone causes us to experience increased desires for sexual pleasures, God counts us guilty of adultery with them in our hearts?

Is Jesus saying that thinking anything about what we call sexual body parts or sexual actions is sin, just like actually committing the act of sexual intercourse with someone?

Is Jesus saying that God counts all sexual imaginations about anyone that is not our marriage partner to be sin, even if we do not take any actions towards attaining the act of sexual intercourse with them?

Is Jesus saying that if looking at someone causes us to think any thoughts about sexual things, or to feel any desire related to sexual things, he counts us guilty of sin just like as if we had sexual intercourse with that person?

Is Jesus saying that admiring someone’s nude body is sin?

Is it sin to see nudity, or to watch someone involved in sexual actions?

Is it sin to read erotic literature and to have mental images of what is happening in the story?

Are all sexual thoughts sinful lust?

As we consider what sinful lust is, and what it is not, we need to consider how the Bible talks about people’s bodies and sexual actions. The first three chapters of the Bible tell us that God designed and created people to be in His image and likeness, and that he also made us sexual beings, male and female. In these three chapters we are told that God created people to be comfortable with being nude around each other and that the shame and fear that people feel about their bodies and sexual things is a result of sin. Due to this shame and fear people desired to wear clothes to hide their sexual body parts.

 

The Bible Speaks Openly of Sexual Matters

 

As we go on through the Scriptures, we see that God, and God’s prophets, speak openly about the beauty of people’s bodies and sexual things:

• The beauty of women’s breasts is spoken of at least twenty-seven times.
• Men’s trimmed or untrimmed penises more than forty times.
• The womb (vagina or uterus) of a woman seventy times.
• That a man and a woman had sex around sixty times.
• That a woman had never had sex is mentioned sixty-four times.
• That a woman had a very beautiful body is specifically mentioned at least eleven times.
• Male ejaculation (semen) is specifically mentioned twelve times.
• The fact that a woman became pregnant is talked about forty-one times.

We see that the Bible speaks openly about sexual things many times. All throughout the Bible there are erotic stories that talk about explicit sexual actions, and sexually-related things:

• A man who was supposed to get his widowed sister-in-law pregnant would have sexual intercourse with her, but he would always pull out of her as he climaxed and spill his semen on the floor so he wouldn’t get her pregnant.
• A man pretended to be sick so he would have an excuse to be alone in a bedroom with his half sister so he could rape her.
• In two stories, a man required someone to hold his penis in their hand while they made a vow to him.
• Jesus as an unmarried man publicly talked about the uteruses that never had a child in them and the breasts that never got sucked by a baby.
• God inspired Isaiah to write about how consolation or comfort is experienced through the act of sucking on a breast that is large and pliable.
• People thought King Saul was a prophet because he was nude with the other Godly prophets.
• God commanded His Prophet Isaiah to go nude among the people for three years just to prove a point about how God was going to judge two other nations.
• In Ezekiel, God talks about how the women of Israel had enjoyed sexual intercourse with men that had penises as big as an ass’s penis and who ejaculated as much semen as a horse.
• God tells us in the book of Jeremiah that Godly men and women will dance with each other as one of the blessings He wants His people to enjoy.
• God said David was a man after His own heart and he punished David’s wife for criticizing him for dancing nearly nude in front of all the people while he was worshiping God.
• The Bible tells us that both Abraham and Isaac had wives that were so sexually attractive that they were afraid men would kill them so they could have sex with their wives.

There are many more stories in the Bible with similar content. Does it stimulate sinful lust in us to read these things? If we feel sexual arousal as we read these stories, is that our sinful lust toward the people in the story? Or is it a God-honoring response of our bodies? Is Jesus teaching in Matthew 5:28 that it is bad for us to think about sexual things while the Bible speaks so openly about them?

 

Sexual References in the Song of Solomon

 

Then there is the Song of Solomon too. God inspired Solomon to write this erotic book that talks very openly about sexual activities.

Chapter one opens by unabashedly talking about a man and a woman passionately kissing each other, and declares that the kisses of a lover are better than wine.

In the second chapter of this book there is a short story about how she enjoyed sucking on his penis, and then he had sexual intercourse with her. At the end of this scene in the story, she tells us that they were doing this in front of a window and showing themselves to people through the window.

In chapter four, and again in chapter seven, Solomon gives an erotic description of his wife’s nude body that stimulates our imagination about her sexual body parts and overall sexual attractiveness.

In chapter five there is a story about Solomon’s wife masturbating while fantasizing about sex with her man and how she longs to have sexual intercourse with him. Her girl friends ask her what is special about her husband, and she gives them a description of his sexually arousing body in detail, including her describing his penis as being like an ivory tusk overlaid with purple ribs.

In chapter seven she tells her husband that she wants to give him her loves (sexual play) in the field, in the villages, in the vineyard, and in the pomegranate grove. These are all locations that would be at least semi public, and they might have been seen having sexual intercourse, but this is something she desired to do together in those locations.

In Chapter eight Solomon’s wife talks about how her sister doesn’t have large breasts like she herself has, and how this is a disadvantage to her as far as being desired by a man for marriage. She says her sister should do what she can to be physically attractive so she will be spoken for (in other words, have a man ask her to marry him). She goes on to declare that she has very large breasts and that this is what attracted Solomon to her.

We see this book is loaded with very explicit erotic content. Scriptures record that Solomon wrote one thousand and five songs, and Solomon declares that this was the Song of Songs. Bible Scholars say that “song of songs” mean it was the greatest of all the songs he wrote, and clearly this is true because it has been counted to be part of God’s Inspired Word to mankind ever since then.

Does it stimulate sinful lust in us to read these things? Is reading erotic literature bad for us? Is Jesus teaching in Matthew 5:28 that it is sin for us to imagine the things that we are reading about as we read the Song of Solomon?

 

Physical Sexual Health

 

Consider too that God has designed us to need sexual climaxes on a regular basis. In fact, the need for sexual climax is so important that if we do not intentionally bring ourselves to sexual climax frequently enough while we are awake, God has designed us in such a way that we will experience the sexual climax at night during our sleep when we cannot avoid it. It is very normal for this to be accompanied by sexual fantasizes in the form of dreams. God designed us in such a way that all of this is entirely unavoidable. This is almost universal with all men and is also true for many women.

Scientific research reveals that pleasurable stimulation of our sexual body parts causes numerous important hormones and chemicals to be released into our bodies that are very good for both our physical and emotional health. Regular sexual climax also has a very positive impact on our overall health. People that climax regularly are far less likely to ever have cancer in their reproductive body parts than people that rarely climax.

Clearly, God has designed us to benefit from regular enjoyment of sexual parts of the bodies He gave us. Nobody believes it is sin to pee before you go to bed so that you don’t wet the bed at night. Why would it be wrong to masturbate before you go to bed so you don’t ejaculate on yourself at night? Why would this bodily function be sin to do on your own while all the rest of our bodies functions are ok? Is it sinful lust to enjoy doing this?

 

Studying the Original Languages

 

We see that the Scriptures talk a lot about sexual things, and contains numerous explicitly erotic stories. We believe that the Bible is inspired by God for us to learn from, and 2 Timothy 3:16 tells us that “all Scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness”, so we can be sure that it is good for us to read all these passages and learn from them. Keep this in mind as we consider what Jesus meant when He said what He did in Matthew 2:27-28.

Matthew 5:27-28 when He said; “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart”.

First of all, let’s look at the meaning of the Greek word translated into “lust after” to make sure we are understanding correctly what Jesus meant.

If we look in Strong’s Concordance, we find that the English words “lust after” are translated from the Greek verb “epithumeo”. Strong’s Concordance says this Greek word means “to set the heart upon, covet, desire, would fain lust after.” This is a verb, so it is not only speaking of the thoughts of desire that go on within the mind, but it is directly talking about the actions that are being taken to bring about the fulfillment of the desire.

If Jesus had been talking about thoughts of desire that did not involve any actions to attain the desire, he would have used the word “epithumia”, which is the noun form of the same Greek word instead of the verb form. Strong’s Concordance says the noun form means, “longing, desire, lust (after)”. It does not include the idea of “setting the heart upon attaining”, and does not indicate the action included in “fain lusting after” that the word “epithumeo” has. Because it is a noun, it refers only to the mental thoughts of desire without actions being taken to fulfill the desire of attaining the item.

I think the translators of the King James Version of the Bible did an excellent job at translating the true meaning into this verse when they chose to use the combination of the two words, “lust after” and not the words “feels lusts” or “feels desire”. The word “after” being attached to the word “lust” indicates there is action being taken to follow or pursue, and that this is not a passive thought or desire. If we take time to study how the Greek word “epithumeo” is used other places in Scripture, we see that it is used when action is being taken to attain and “epithumia” is used when thoughts of desire are what is being spoken of.

There’s a place in the New Testament where Jesus used these two words within one sentence that clearly illustrates the difference and how these two words are used.

Luke 22:15 says, “And he said unto them, With desire (epithumia) I have desired (epithumeo) to eat this passover with you before I suffer”.

In this verse Jesus says, “I had epithumia (mental thoughts of desire), and epithumeo (chose to take action to fulfill those desires) to eat this passover with you before I suffer”.

This verse illustrates very well that while the meaning of these words are very connected, one is relating to the thought of desire that he had in his mind, and the other relates directly to the fact that he set about to pursue fulfilling that desire, and he goes on to declare how he chose to fulfill this desire.

 

A Comparison Between “Lust” and “Covet”

 

The word “epithumeo” has very much the same thought of “covet”. God commanded the Children of Israel in Exodus 20:17, “thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife”. Isn’t what Jesus is saying in Matthew 5:28 the very same meaning?

I think we see that Jesus was reminding them that God not only condemns the act of adultery, but that they also needed to obey the God given-command, “thou shall not covet thy neighbour’s wife”. He simply is saying the command, “thou shall not covet your neighbour’s wife” in Greek instead of in Hebrew.

Consider also what the word covet means in 1 Corinthians 12:31 when it says “But covet earnestly the best gifts: and yet shew I unto you a more excellent way”. Consider what it means to covet the best gifts. Does it mean we should think about them favorably, or does it mean we should seek after attaining them? I think we all know that if we covet them we will be pursuing them and not just thinking about them. To covet them indicates we want them so desperately that we are pursuing attaining them and not just thinking about how nice it would be to have them.

Let’s consider, if Jesus had been teaching about stealing instead of adultery, would the following statement have been just as true?

“Ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, thou shall not steal, but I say unto you that whosoever shall look upon his neighbor’s house to lust after it hath committed theft of the house already in his heart.”

Surely, we believe this statement would also be just as accurate as the statement Jesus gave about lusting after a woman in our heart. We can all understand that if looking on a woman to lust after her is committing adultery in the heart, then it would also be true that looking upon someone’s possession to lust after it would be committing theft in the heart.

I don’t know of anybody that believes that admiring his neighbors house is sinfully lusting after it, or that it would be sinful lust to look at your neighbor’s house for inspiration on how we would want to decorate our own house. But if someone would like to own his neighbor’s house, would it be okay for him to do things that would cause his neighbor to go bankrupt and be forced to put his house on the market so that he can buy it? If he could accomplish this, he would be able to attain ownership of his neighbor’s house without stealing it.

Would God count this to be acceptable? No! We all clearly understand that this person would be “coveting” and “lusting after” his neighbors house, and that he is violating the commandment “thou shalt not steal” in his heart, even though he gains possession of his neighbors house without directly breaking the commandment, “thou shall not steal”. The courts of the land would not classify him as a thief, but God would condemn him for having the heart of a thief. We can clearly understand that he “lusted after” and “coveted” his neighbor’s house by choosing to pursue ownership of his neighbors house at the expense of his neighbor’s well-being, and against his neighbor’s will, even though he purchased the house rather than stealing it outright.

 

The Example of David’s Lust, Adultery and Murder

 

Let’s consider how this principle relates to murder.

We all know the story of David committing adultery with Bathsheba. We remember how he had her husband Uriah placed in the most dangerous part of the battle in an effort to have him killed so that David could marry Bathsheba without openly living in an adulterous relationship.

In 2 Samuel 12:9, God says to David, “Thou hast killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword and hast taken his wife to be thy wife . . .”

David did not personally kill Uriah, but we can understand why God counted David guilty for Uriah’s death. David had actively worked behind the scenes to cause Uriah’s death to clear the way for David to marry Uriah’s wife without living in an openly adulterous relationship. Clearly, God counted David guilty of killing Uriah even though he did not personally kill him.

To relate this back to the issue of lust, God essentially upheld a principle like the following: “Whosoever lusteth after their neighbor’s death hath committed murder of them already in their heart.”

Jesus addressed this subject in Matthew 5:21-23 with the same principles, but with a bit more clarity than he addressed the subject of adultery in verses 27-28. We can readily see that the same principles apply.

We understand that God would have counted David guilty of adultery with Bathsheba in his heart the entire time that he was coveting to have her husband killed so he could openly marry her. David was lusting after her by looking for ways that he could attain the freedom to have sexual intercourse with her without committing the ongoing act of adultery. By choosing to take actions to have her husband eliminated so he could marry her, he was entering into lusting for Uriah’s death. David became guilty of looking upon her to lust after her when he chose to take actions toward attaining her as his wife, even though he had not accomplished the deed yet at that point.

We understand that when a person breaks any of the commandments “thou shalt not kill”, or “thou shall not steal”, or “thou shalt not commit adultery”, there is a mental point when they choose to pursue taking actions to attain the desired final result, even if they plan to do so without directly breaking the letter of the commandment. We understand that they become guilty of violating the moral law of “thou shalt not” in their heart when they choose to pursue attaining the sinful result by any means possible, even if they are fully committed to not do the evil act against the person themselves, but would rather accomplish the harm to them or ownership of their possession through a means that allows them to attain the desired goal without technically breaking the letter of the Law.

This is what it is to covet or to lust after something forbidden.

 

Connecting Back to Jesus’ Teaching

 

We can see that Jesus was teaching the same principle in relation to pursuing a sinful sexual relationship as he was teaching in regard to breaking any other of the ten commandments. Jesus was not teaching that God judges sexual thoughts and desires by a much higher and stricter standard than our thoughts and desires for other earthly possessions.

We all understand that Jesus was teaching:

The man that chooses to do things that cause his neighbor to be placed in very dangerous situations in hopes that he will be killed is guilty of murder in his heart.

The man that chooses to do things that cause his neighbor to go bankrupt and be forced to sell his house so that he can buy it is guilty of theft in his heart.

The man that pursues ways of attaining sexual intercourse with someone else’s wife is guilty of adultery in his heart.

Jesus is telling us that these men are guilty of murder, theft, or adultery in their hearts even if the death, or sale of the house, or the sexual encounter, never happens.

But we also understand that, a person that has been treated unkindly by another person but chooses to control the anger that rises up within them and instead they return good for evil, the woman that desires the quilt her sister inherited but she chooses to make one like it herself instead of conniving  ways to get the inherited one, and the engaged man and woman that desire to enjoy the intimate connection of sexual intercourse together but choose to wait to do the act together until they are married, are all experiencing desires, emotions, and passions, that potentially could push them to do sinful actions but they are not sinning in their hearts by “lusting after” or “coveting” something forbidden by God because they are choosing to honor and obey God with their actions.

Consider the following situations:

A person who has been treated unkindly by someone else, but chooses to control the anger that rises up within them and instead return good for evil.

A woman who desires the quilt her sister inherited, but chooses to make one like it herself instead of conniving ways to get the inherited one.

An engaged man and woman who desire to enjoy the intimate connection of sexual intercourse together, but choose to wait to do the act together until they are married.

These people are all experiencing desires, emotions, and passions that potentially could push them to do sinful actions, but they are not sinning in their hearts by “lusting after” or “coveting” something forbidden by God, because they are instead choosing to honor and obey God with their actions.

As we already looked at, clearly God would not count it acceptable for someone to lust after his neighbor’s death or his possessions, any more than He would count it acceptable if they lusted after a sinful sexual relationship with his neighbor’s wife. As we acknowledge this reality, we come face to face with the fact that God clearly uses the same principles to decide when we are lusting after our neighbor’s wife as he uses to decide if we are lusting after his death, or his possessions.

Is it sin for us to experience sexual desire due to admiring someone’s sexual body, but somehow not sin to experience desire for a nicer house?

Is it a sin for us to enjoy our own body’s sexual pleasures due to reading about someone’s sexual experience or watching sexual actions, but somehow not sin to choose to remodel our own house due to reading about nice homes, or due to admiring our friends house, or due to watching them remodel theirs?

Is one of these scenarios “lusting after” something in a sinful way while the other is not, even though neither one is involving them or even affecting them in any way?

 

Closing Hypotheticals

 

In closing, here are a few more practical comparisons to consider.

• If someone enjoys eating more food than the bare minimum that would keep them alive, is God going to condemn that person for lusting after food?
• If someone enjoys their own body’s sexual pleasures, and climaxes more often than the unavoidable times it happens when they are asleep, is God going to condemn that person for lusting after sexual pleasures?
• If we see somebody eating food and it causes us to suddenly realize we are hungry, is there anything wrong with us getting something to eat? (As long as we don’t take their food from them.)
• If we see somebody doing something that causes us to feel sexual desire, is there anything wrong with us enjoying our own sexual pleasures? (As long as we do not involve them.)

And is there a moral difference between the following scenarios?

• Reading a recipe in a cookbook could inspire you to make that same meal for your family. Is it so different if reading the erotic story of Solomon and his bride in Song of Solomon 2 inspires you to enjoy sexual play with your spouse?
• Reading a magazine article that describes how to make the world’s best espresso could inspire you to make an espresso for yourself to drink. Is it so different if reading a story about someone enjoying their own sexual pleasures inspires you to enjoy the sexual pleasures of your own body through masturbation?
• Watching the married couple next-door wash and wax their car could inspire you and your spouse to wash and wax your own car together. Is it so different if watching your neighbors having sex by their pool in their back yard inspires you and your spouse to enjoy sexual play together too?
• Admiring the Bargello quilt your friend made could inspires you to make a Bargello quilt yourself. Is it so different if admiring a friend’s sexually attractive body inspires you to enjoy your own sexual body through masturbation?

Is one of these scenarios coveting or sinfully lusting after something forbidden while the other is not? According to God’s Word, would God judge one of these people for sinning and not the other?

 

Conclusion

 

Once again, Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart”.

So I ask again, what did Jesus mean by this?

As we consider what the many scriptures have to say about sexual things, and the content of the erotic stories included in scripture, should we be more free in our thoughts and expressions about sexuality? Should we be reading about other people’s sexual experiences, and talking with them about what they enjoy—or even observing what other people do and enjoy—to help us improve our own sexual experiences just like we relate to everything else in our lives? Or are we supposed to crush every thought about sexual things? Are we supposed to avoid all sexual functions of our body until we are married, and even then ignorantly blunder along without benefiting from learning from other people’s experiences like we would in every other area of our lives?

Is this what Jesus is teaching us?

I think my position is pretty clear. What do you think?

 

Nicodemus Peters

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