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Hello! I just joined MH. I’m 66 years old, sincere Christian, educated, white, male with a strong sex drive. I have been divorced twice. I was stunned to read that this site has been around since 2006, because this is exactly the type of site that I have been longing for.
I feel that sex is, among other things, “a form of communication”. And, of course, the sex is better when good communication exists between spouses. (Conversely, when spouses don’t communicate their needs [sexual, or otherwise], then frustration and anger are not far away.) Further, when pastors and churches fail to discuss sex, then “the world” will provide information that leads away from God. I have even written a bit online about this topic.
Having browsed a few pages of the Discussion area, I’m pleasantly surprised to already feel a sense of “community” here. By nature, I’m very analytical. As a result, I tend to “see things that others don’t see”. That trait served me well during my military career, but it does not always translate into “plays well with others” in a group setting. On the plus side, it is part of the gifts of prophecy and discernment.
The most amazing thing about the people on this site, so far, is the open and honest communications by women. By the grace of God, you ladies have gotten past that societal false teaching of the “feminine mystique”. We men do not find “guessing games” attractive at all. So, I value the opinions of the women here, along with the willingness of some of the more mature ladies to help the younger women find their way.
OK, so, about sex….
Although I’m fairly educated, I do not use “medical” words when discussing sex. I feel that it takes some of the fun out of the discussion. I might have a “penis” when I go see the doctor, but I have a “dick” the rest of the time. And, it is slightly above average in size, and I have no difficulty in getting hard. As I’ve gotten older, I have noticed even more how much I enjoy the feeling of a hard-on, and its “heft” and warmth, and even its feeling in my hand. (For example, when I jack off, my hand feels almost as good as my dick.) I just would like someone to share it with. And, the rest of life.
Like most of you, I feel that the church needs to be more open about discussing sexual topics. My first marriage (16 years) was ruined by the concept that “sex is bad” — something from her toxic parents that my first wife never could fully get past. (The idea was so pervasive that she could not fully “let go” and enjoy sex with me, because it was in the “good” setting of marriage. So, in order to feel satisfied, sex had to be “bad” — i.e.: with other men, etc.) I don’t want to dwell on that, but I put it out there because it is a big problem within the church, and because it is a “conversation starter” of sorts. I need a wife that fully believes that God created sex and that He made it “very good” — for both spouses.
My second marriage (18 years) was ruined by my wife’s health problems (high blood pressure, diabetes, endometriosis, etc.), which robbed her of sexual desire. The problem is that, when she lost her sex drive, she also lost compassion for my sex drive. For example, if I was walking through the house in my pajamas, and she saw that I had a hard-on, then she would say things such as, “Put that thing away,” or, “Just get in the shower and take care of that,” or even just laughing at it derisively. I had long looked at porn for relief, but she never knew it. Then, one night, I fell asleep in my recliner after masturbating. She woke up after a couple of hours (something that she almost never did, which is why I felt “safe” to look at porn while she was asleep), walked into the living room, saw my computer, blew a gasket, and said that she wanted a divorce.
I’ve been divorced for more than four years now. I have not had “real” sex in more than 14 years. The lack of sex is beginning to cause its own set of health problems. And, it’s just plain frustrating — and sometimes infuriating. I’m not a bad-looking man, although I’m now overweight (largely a result of “mood food” to ease sexual frustration). I have most of my own hair and all of my own teeth. I keep clean, both of my wives said that I was a “good listener”, and giving orgasms is often just as much fun as getting them. So, I’d like to consider myself a “good catch”.
The next time around, I want to know in advance that my wife is on the same page with me regarding sex. That’s why this discussion forum is so fascinating for me. You guys are open, honest, direct, and pull no punches — and yet, all* within Scriptural boundaries. (*There are a small number of disagreements that I have seen. But, I don’t doubt the sincerity of even those with whom I disagree. For example, I think that anal sex is totally off-limits.)
OK, this time, it’s really about sex….
I think about sex a lot, and I think about a lot of sex.
It’s OK for the woman to be the “aggressor” sometimes. That way, I know that she really wants it — versus just going along with it. Even at age 66, the only foreplay that I need is two words: “Let’s fuck.” (And, I still get really hard — although, not quite as hard as when I was young and could hang a wet beach towel from my dick for an hour while walking around the house. Really….)
I like a “curvy” woman. (As a boy, most of the Mean Girls at school were thin. As a result, I grew attracted to plump girls — not necessarily because they were plump, but because I perceived them as being nicer.) Over time, that attraction grew to a real appreciation of womanly curves. And that, in turn, grew when I discovered the joys of tit-fucking and giving facials. Fucking small tits is not as much fun as fucking big tits.
(Pardon me. Just typing that made my dick hard. So, I had to stop typing and “adjust”, because my dick is big enough that a hard-on pointed the wrong way inside my pajama pants is painful.)
I believe strongly in what Christian sex blogger Sheila Wray Gregoire calls “mutuality”. Sadly, a lot of pastors (if they mention sex at all) teach from the perspective that men “get” sex from wives that “give” it to them (albeit, reluctantly). Worse yet is the teaching that wives must “get” something (in addition to sex!) from their husbands before she will “put out”. (e.g.: “take the trash out”, a new dress, promise of an expensive vacation, etc.) That mindset is the opposite of mutuality, and it is akin to prostitution. I want a wife that sees sex as her goal/reward, just as much as it is mine.
I have masturbated since about age 8, although I did not have an orgasm until age 12 or so. Although I have always enjoyed it, I did it mostly for “relief”. Now, partly because of age, and partly because of my single status, masturbation is more. It is fun in itself. I would like to share that fun with a wife, although she must know that I have a lot of years of fucking to catch up on…! 
And, yes, I like oral — both giving and receiving. I usually think of it in terms of “taking turns”, but I also love a 69. In fact, I really like doing 69 while lying on our sides. It is more “relaxed” and comfortable that way. (Besides, both of my wives said that my dick was quite big in their mouths. So, if we were doing a 69 and I was on top, and started mouth-fucking her, then it got uncomfortable and we had to stop. Alas, nothing ruins the moment more than having to stop because it is “too good”.)
Squirting…?? I would enjoy a wife with a pussy that squirts when she cums. Oh, fuck, what a turn-on!! That is a pleasure that I have not experienced — although I did have a girlfriend in-between marriages that would sometimes “gush” a bit. An ideal situation for me in that regard would be if she would put on a masturbation show for me, and then squirt her pussy juice all over my dick. Then, with all that lube and readiness, I could just shove my hot hard dick into her hot juicy pussy and we would fuck each other like wild.
OK, this has gone on long enough. (And, besides, now I need to jack off just from thinking about the fact that “somewhere out there” is a Christian woman that is getting just as turned on from reading this as I did from writing it.) Thank you for your attention. Comments??
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