My dearest MH family,
First of all let me say that I am deeply touched by your prayers and out pouring of support for me and my family during this difficult time.
Since Ben passed away, I have been doing alot of praying and crying. My family is heartbroken, but stronger in our faith in the holy father. This is uncharted waters for all of us.
Luke 23:43 “ And he said to him, Truly I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise “
Though heartbroken we take comfort in knowing that Ben is with the Lord in a much better place. Ben was my husband, the love of my life, my first lover, father of our children and a proud and loving grandfather.
Psalm 9:9 says, “ The Lord also will be a stronghold for the oppressed, A stronghold in times of trouble “ This couldn’t be more true.
Yesterday Randy, Alicia and myself went to Ben’s gravesite . We cried and we prayed. We shared our memories and laughed about the fun times we had with him. Though Ben was no longer there, it was comforting and filled our hearts with peace. Our daughter Kristie is not taking it very well and did not come along.
Philippians 4:7 “ And the peace of God surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. “
I do not usually quote scripture, but have been reading my Bible and take comfort in it. Like I said, I am navigating uncharted waters. I will miss my “ big bear “ greatly. I think about him all the time. Sometimes at night I can hear him say, “ Gina, stop acting so silly “ and I can’t help but smile. The Lord said, it is ok to grieve, but it is not to be continual.
This is by far the hardest post that I have ever written, but felt that it needed to be written. Ben was my inspiration and the reason behind all of my stories. I wrote them out of my enduring love for him. I will continue to be here at MH, as I know Ben would prefer it that way.
Like I said earlier, the outpouring of love and support I have had from all of you has deeply touched me, and there are not any words I can say to express my heart felt gratitude. I don’t know if I will write anymore stories or not. At least I am not sure what I would write about. But time will tell.
Let me say that I truly love you all my brothers and sisters in Christ. God bless all of you.
To my husband, I love you so very much and can’t wait to see you again. Fly high my love and rest in the arms of the Lord. Thank you for the love you have shared, you will be so greatly missed. I will love you forever and ever.
Jeremiah 31:3 “Love yesterday, today and forever “
Love,
Gina
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