I’m seeking advice because I feel like my sex life is fading. My husband and I married in 2020. He was a virgin, I wasn’t. Early on, things were okay, but over time it feels like we’re mismatched in sexual desire and effort. For example, I used to give him oral sex, but he said it was “too ticklish,” so I stopped. Now in 2025, he might go down on me for just a few minutes, then complains that his neck hurts. We usually rely on a vibrator for me to climax. When it’s his turn, he sometimes lasts only a couple minutes and is finished quickly.
I feel unsatisfied and disconnected sexually, and I’ve stopped looking forward to intimacy. It feels like he puts in the bare minimum, while I’m craving more passion, effort, and mutual pleasure. I’m worried that this is the new normal and that our sex life is doomed unless something changes. I want to know how we can improve this — is there a way to rebuild connection and pleasure between us, or are we simply incompatible in this area?
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