(L) – This post contains strong language.
Hey everyone! I have a lot of miscellaneous personal information, and some serious questions. I would love to bring these things up to a mentor, but I just don’t think it would go over well. My mentor, God bless her, is my aunt. My former youth pastor and his fiancée also have a similar role. Maybe I’ll eventually get the courage to talk to someone about it.
I’m a virgin, waiting for marriage and all that. Like most girls my age (19), I struggle with wanting male attention. The Girls Gone Bible podcast has actually helped a lot in that regard.
Anyway, I love watching videos of guys stroking themselves while complimenting me (or rather, the viewer), or giving a JOI. Not going to say who, but there’s this really yummy British guy with a beautiful cock and an amazing accent.
I justify it by telling myself that there’s nothing wrong with masturbating, so watching others do it is probably okay. But honestly I’m young, and maybe naïve. I just like watching men stroke their cocks, and I feel like I’m falling to lust. Let’s be honest: a nice, rock-hard cock getting pleasured by its owner is so hot. I probably wouldn’t get on a camera and do cam stuff with a stranger, or even a friend, but isn’t that kind of the same?
Sometimes I watch other girls too. And though I do find it sexy, I mostly started this to see how they stimulate their clits, etc. (In fact, I chose my clit sucker toy based off of a NSFW review.) But it has definitely turned into me putting on videos of girls playing with themselves just to watch for the naughty entertainment of it. I wouldn’t call myself bisexual, but I guess I do think girls are sexy, just not… well, I’m straight, and yes I know that for a fact. And although it wasn’t sex, I have “experimented,” and that’s a topic for another discussion, maybe.
I’ve never done full penetration, even with one of my dildos—not vaginal anyway. *Wink wink.*
Anyway, I’m all over the place. Any advice? Thanks!
P.S. I’m glad I found somewhere to discuss this stuff. The world just tries to get me to fuck whoever, and it seems the church just wants me to suppress my desires. I want neither.
Also I have a date soon, fingers crossed. I’ll tell you how it went, maybe in the comments whenever this posts.
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